HILLSBOROUGH -- Gary D. Gaddy, the Chapel Hill Herald's leading regular Thursday columnist was recognized on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 for his authorship of a "local paper column." Gaddy, who was standing in line at the Wendy's near Daniel Boone Village, was accosted by the guy in front of him, who said, "Aren't you that guy with a column in the local paper with your picture next to it?" Gaddy admitted that he was. Later, the same gentleman introduced Gaddy to his wife as "the guy with that column in the local paper." She said, "Sorry, I don't read the local paper."
Fond du Lac man world's first
(Special from the Fond du Lac Reporter)
FOND DU LAC, WISCONSIN -- A Fond du Lac man has been declared by the Guinness Book of World Records to be the first to "read, understand and accept" all of the terms and conditions associated with an Internet software download.
In a ceremony at his home on East Sheboygan Road, Edgar Polandeski, 37, accepted the certificate from the representative of the Guinness Awards staff. Said Guinness World Records Editor in Chief Craig Glenday, "We have had people apply for this award before but a careful review had always shown their claims to be deficient. Most of the time they had only 'read, understood and accepted' the first panel of terms and conditions. Until we investigated the case for Polandeski, no one else had even come close."
Coming on top of winning the Morgan Quitno Award for the "#1 SAFEST Metropolitan Area for 2006" in its population grouping, "this is quite a double for Fond du Lac," said Council President Mark Jurgella.
Polandeski himself was quite nonplussed by the hubbub surrounding the award. "I didn't know I really wasn't expected to read it all," said Polandeski, who has an associate's degree in business accounting from the University of Wisconsin-Fond du Lac.
Neighbors said they weren't surprised. Eileen Creech, who lives just across the street from Polandeski, noted that he was "very meticulous." Adding, "Like my brother-in-law, he always mows his yard twice, both times on the diagonal."
"Doesn't surprise me at all," said Miriam Zlotby, who attended Sabish Middle School with Polandeski. "He used to be one of those who always was waving his hand to volunteer to help Mrs. Stepenski with whatever. You know, holding one arm up with the other, waving it so hard you thought it'd fly off. He's the one who'd say, 'Miriam, didn't stay in her desk while you were gone, Mrs. Stepenski.' Classic brown-noser. Glad to see it finally got him something."
Although Polandeski accomplished the feat on May 13, 2008, his achievement will not be recognized in print until the 2009 edition of Guinness World Records, which should appear early in January.
CORRECTION, CORRECTION, CORRECTION
Corrections are my specialty -- but usually I am correcting others' misapprehensions, misconceptions and mistaken notions about the true nature of the universe. This time I am correcting one of my own very rare errors.
Earnestly, I am calendar challenged. I have no idea how anyone ever knew what day of the week it was, or day of the month or month of the year, for that matter, before the advent of the modern digital timepiece.
Anyway, in last week's column, I indicated that the Hollow Rock Tennis Calcutta for the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society would be last weekend, while actually it is coming up the weekend of May 30-31. My bad! My error, of course, is a good thing, since it means that you can still sign up. Do. It's a good cause and it'll be fun. You don't have to play tennis even. Call Jim to ask him to explain about the event at 489-1550, or email him at email@example.com.
A further minor correction while I'm at it. James McDonald, the subject of last week's column, is not actually from Perth, as I implied by calling him the "Pied Piper of Perth." He is from a little town called Esperance, a seven-and-a-half-hour drive south of Perth (which is apparently a small distance in Australian). According to Jim, Esperance has "three claims to fame": it has "the best beaches in the world," which beaches also have "the odd shark attack," and, "Skylab fell on it." (If this Skylab claim seems a little too much like your standard Aussie braggadocio, it's not. Wikipedia confirms it.)
The last time Gary D. Gaddy was wrong was 1978, when he thought he had made an error, but it turned out he was mistaken about that.
A version of this story was published in the Chapel Hill Herald on Thursday May 22, 2008.
Copyright 2008 Gary D. Gaddy