GARY D. GADDY
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Thursday, February 26, 2009
Neutered Dictionary's release postponed

CHAPEL HILL -- The University of North Carolina Press announced today that the scheduled release of "The Roy Williams Dictionary of Neutered Synonyms:  Inexplicit Interjections, Adjectives, Adverbs and Gerunds" has been pushed back until late summer while the work undergoes a major revision.

Recent events have inspired UNC head men's basketball coach Williams to add a new appendix to the planned volume, "Expletives Undeleted: An Unabridged Compendium of Excited Utterances."

In a release to the media, UNC Press described the origin of the proposed work: "Besides being one of the best coaches in college basketball, the erudite Roy Williams is also an acknowledged expert on the use of euphemisms in the Southern American dialect.  Williams received his bachelor's degree at the University of North Carolina in education, and then gained a master of arts in teaching.  But his primary academic interest is in the linguistics of vernacular language, a subject which Williams is not only an avid student but a polished practitioner."

UNC Press further indicates that "The Williams Dictionary goes beyond being a comprehensive collection of euphemistic terms, also providing an innovative scheme for classifying neutered terms."

Some summary selections from an early review copy of The Williams Dictionary give insight into the Williams system as well as the format of the work.

The Rear End Collective Noun Class.  Major terms: butt, can, hiney, back end, tail end and rear end.  Typical usage: "We sure didn't play our rear end off."

The Dang Adjective Group.  Major terms: durn, dern, darn and dang, as well as their derivatives such as dagnabbit, galldurn and doggone.  Typical usage: "We played right galldurn well."

The Heck Noun and Adjective Group.  Major terms: heckuva, helluva and heck.  Typical usage: "It's a heck of an ACC race. So we've got to play a whole heck of a lot better.  This sure has been one heck of an interview."

The Freakin' Adjective Group. Major terms: friggin', frickin' and freakin'.  Typical usage: "You may not think so but I think it's one big freakin' deal."

Book trade insiders say that most of the major revisions to the work will be made in the Freakin' Group.

The delay by UNC University Press is not unexpected as UNC Press had been hesitant to publish another book by a men's basketball coach since the release in 1990, to notably thin sales, of Dean Smith's Jokester's Jokebook.

The working title of the revised Williams book is said to be The Roy Williams Dictionary of Neutered Synonyms -- Now with Actual Obscenities!  The expanded edition will include a special preface by Duke Coach Michael Krzyzewski entitled "*&^%$*(*!!: A Typographical Introduction to Non-Euphemisms."

***

Carrboro High renamed

CHAPEL HILL -- In what supporters are calling "an effort to move toward post-partisan politics,"  the Chapel Hill/Carrboro Board of Education voted five to one on Wednesday night to rename Carrboro High School as George W. Bush High School.

The school board was quick to assert that their action was not a response to the recent renaming of the former Ludlum Elementary School in the Hempstead Union Free School District on Long Island, New York, to Barack Obama Elementary School.

"Naming schools after presidents is not a new idea.  We used to have a Lincoln School in Chapel Hill, I would like to point out.  He was an unpopular Republican too, you know?" said Board Chair Eloise Strictly.

"While we don't necessarily agree, as some have argued, that naming a school after President Obama essentially at the moment he took office is premature, we are sure that it is not too late to honor just ex-President Bush.  We only wish we could have done this sooner.  January 20th at 12:01 pm would have been perfect,” said Strictly

"After watching even just a few days of the Obama presidency, we are beginning to appreciate how difficult a job the president has," said Strictly.  "In a way, this naming of Carrboro High to George W. Bush High School is a means of making up for the constant criticism that was aimed at him.  I hope he accepts it in the spirit it was made," added Strictly.

The one dissenting vote came from Board Vice Chair Mark Kenney who thought that Bush/Cheney High School "would make a bolder statement" and would recognize more clearly the unique co-presidency of George W. Bush and Richard Cheney.

 

Gary D. Gaddy is married to a fourth-career banjo picker from the foothills of the Brushy Mountain region who translates Roy for him, when necessary.

A version of this column was published in the Chapel Hill Herald Thursday February 26, 2009.

Copyright   2009  Gary D. Gaddy


Authored by Gary G. Gaddy at 7:54 AM EST
Updated: Thursday, February 26, 2009 8:03 AM EST
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